Adventures in Discovering Yourself
by FaceofWood
Summary: Maddie learns a few things and struggles with telling others.


_Before I start I wanna say that I wrote this because I just really like the show. It has a great family dynamic and loveable character. This is just a quick oneshot about Maddie Rooney discovering herself. Enjoy!_

 **Adventures in Discovering Yourself**

Maddie sat on her bed, scrolling through countless websites. If anyone asked what she was doing she would have slammed the laptop shut and said, "Nothing". She was not ready to talk about what she was doing. Lately, she had been looking into figuring out who she was. Her first breakthrough was finding the word bisexual. The word brought some comfort to her mind. Soon, though she was searching once again, bisexual was a part of who she was, but it was not the entire thing.

Looking into more sexualities, Maddie found asexual, it brought great relief to her. She always felt weird about talking with her sister and friends about crushes. The whole idea of being sexually attracted to a person was confusing. The fact that other people felt the same way and that there was a word for it made her feel happy and whole. Asexual biromantic, that label felt so right.

There was still something off, but Maddie put off that feeling for a while. Finally, a few months, she felt ready to tell people. Wanting to be organized, Maddie put together a whole explanation for everything, knowing that none of her family knew what asexual meant. She was searching for credible sources, in case she got the "Asexuality isn't real. Everybody wants sex, it's what makes us human" or the "You're just experimenting you'll choose one gender eventually". The search somehow diverged into gender identity. Maddie spent hours looking at websites and blogs reading people's accounts and about the different genders.

After a few hours, Maddie sighed and closed her eyes. She had always thought of herself as a tomboy and was never into "girly" things, that's was Liv's domain. The more she thought of it, the more she realized that "female" was not a good descriptor for her gender. She had read a lot about transgender, but "male" was not quite right either. She looked into what "agender" meant, but that was not right either. Letting out a frustrated grunt, Maddie closed her laptop and put her face in her hands. Learning who you were was more complicated that she expected. She was just getting ready to tell her family and friends about her sexuality, but now she wanted to completely figure herself out before telling them. Lacing up her sneakers, she decided to go shoot some hoops to clear her mind.

Maddie did not realize how late it had gotten until she heard her sister's voice. "Maddie what are you doing out here so late?"

"Just practicing a bit. Gotta keep up my skills." Maddie said, plastering a smile on her face. Unfortunately, Liv knew here all too well.

Giving Maddie a stern look Liv said, "I would believe that, but it's one in the morning. You're going to wake up the whole neighborhood. Tell me what's wrong. I won't tell anyone."

Maddie sighed, she wanted to tell Liv, but not right now. "Not now Liv. I promise when I'm ready to talk about it you'll be the first to know." Liv smiled, understanding that her sister was not ready to talk. The two of them went back to their room to get some sleep before the next day.

The news was blowing up the next morning. One of Liv's friends from Sing It Loud had told the world that they were agender. Maddie knew what this meant, she was researching that stuff all last night, but she played dumb so her family would not get suspicious. As Joey looked it up on his phone, Maddie anxiously waited to see what their reactions would be. This was her opportunity to see how they would react to something like that. If they reacted badly, then she would keep her discoveries to herself, at least until she was no longer dependent on her parents.

"Here is!" Joey exclaimed, making Maddie even more nervous, "Agender: someone who identifies as without a gender." The whole family was silent. The silence was agonizing for Maddie. She had not figured out her gender yet, but what happened next would dictate how she would live for the next few years. "Is that it?" Liv asked, "Why are they making such a big deal out of it? They're still the same person as before, just with different pronouns." Maddie tried to hide her relief, at least she could trust her twin sister to accept her.

"I don't know Liv. Some people just don't like those who are different from what they consider 'normal'", their mother answered. A huge wave of relief washed over Maddie as the rest of her family agreed. When she figured out who she was, she was excited to tell the rest of the Rooneys.

Maddie had looked over "gender fluid" in her last search, but she was desperate to have a label for what she was feeling inside. It was why she spent months agonizing over her sexuality. As she read the definition, she felt both fear and relief. Relief because she thought that "gender fluid" described her perfectly. She was afraid because of other's reactions to it. Knowing her family would accept her made her feel a bit better, but what about her friends, what about Diggie? "What's up?" Liv asked coming into their room with not warning. In a panic, Maddie slammed her laptop shut. "Maddie calm down it's just me. You've been pretty jumpy lately. I know you're hiding something, whatever it is I can help."

Maddie stared down at her laptop for a few seconds before deciding to tell Liv. She stood up and made sure that no one was outside their door. Then she sat down at next to Liv. "I'm ready to talk." She told Liv. Liv threw her phone behind her to signify that she was all ears. "I want to tell you that I'm not straight. I'm asexual biromantic. It means that I don't feel sexual attraction to anyone, but I'm romantically attracted to male and females."

Liv pulled her twin sister into a hug, "Is this what you've been hiding for months now? Maddie this changes nothing about anything. Remember? Sisters by chance, friends by choice."

"That's not all." Maddie said, knowing she needed to tell her sister all. "Remember your friend who is agender? Well, I'm gender fluid. I'm sometimes male, sometimes female, sometimes neither."

"Alright then. Just tell me what pronouns you want me to use and if you want me to call you by a different name. I'm here for you." Liv said. Maddie smiled, this went better than expected.

Maddie answered the question, "I haven't really thought much about it, but using they/ them pronouns would be the best. As for my name, I don't want to change it yet, I have to think about it. Can you help me look?" Liv nodded and pulled out her laptop and searched for gender neutral names. The two sisters sat closely on Liv's bed looking through names. In that moment Maddie knew that everything was going to be alright, no matter what anyone else thought or said she had Liv on their side. Sisters by chance, friends by choice.

In the end, Maddie decided that Madison was a great name and they did not want to change it. Telling the rest of the Rooney family went just a smoothly as telling Liv. Their mother was upset that they had kept it inside so long, but to them that she would always be on their side. Their father was proud that they got the courage to tell him. The boys were just happy that they were happy.

The rest of the Ridgewood girls' basketball team gave them a big group hug when they came out at the next practice. "Mads, we're a team and we leave no person behind." Willow told them, "You're not leaving the team though, right?"

"Not if you guys don't want me to." Maddie said and the team pulled her into another group hug.

Then came telling Diggie. Maddie had accepted the fact that he may break up with them. Diggie never talked about what his sexuality was and she realized that he may be straight. As it turned out Diggie had no problem with what they told him, but he was straight. Their relationship ended on a good note, promising to stay friends regardless, no hard feelings.

Now Maddie had to decide if she was OK with the whole school knowing. Liv had offered for them to come with her to her next interview. Both twins knew that the interviewer would talk about Liv's agender cast mate. Liv thought it would be a good idea for Maddie to talk about their own experiences, since Liv had no experience there. In the end they decided that they wanted to help with the interview. They knew they had a chance to educate the world about different sexualities and genders and that it would be a great opportunity for young people like them who were struggling. Seeing the sibling of a well-loved actress that was like them, and eventually a famous basketball player, would be a big confidence boost. Maddie had their family and friends by their side, that's all they needed.

THE END


End file.
